I’m a Sodomite, and I’m OK

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I found an interesting blog today called “Going Medieval” run by Dr. Eleanor Janega. In it, she has an interesting blog post about sodomy. It’s not what you think it’s about. According to Dr. Janega, sodomy isn’t just gay men sucking each other off or butt-fucking. As she puts it:

This is because sodomy is, in fact, any sort of sex that you can have that will not result in pregnancy. That is it. This means that any kind of hand sex, oral sex, interfemoral sex (if you get down with that), and of course butt stuff are all types of sodomy. This also means that odds are you, dear reader, have likely done sodomy at some point in your life if not earlier today.

If Dr. Janega is right—and my own research suggests she is—most of the sex that’s happening to other people while you’re reading this isn’t unprotected and carefully timed cock-in-cunt action between married men and women for the sake of procreation. That would be entirely too boring, and the population would be even higher than it already is.

Instead, it’s sodomy: women sucking cocks, men licking cunts, men sucking cocks, women licking cunts, men fucking assholes, women fucking assholes (with dildos), men fapping, women schlicking, men and women enjoying toys, rimjobs, handjobs, footjobs, finger-banging, fisting, dry-humping, sensual massage, etc.

Why? Why not? Are you actually going to pretend you don’t want in on some of that action? ‘Cause I want in on some of that action. Preferably as local co-op play with my spouse, but I have no trouble with a single-player campaign.

So, yeah. I’m a sodomite. I guess that makes me a queer even though I’ve only been with women. I’m OK with that, because the best sex is gay sex and fundies need to get over it. After all, everybody knows “nice” Christian girls usually love getting persecuted in the butt. (They think it lets them remain virginal, but they aren’t fooling God and they certainly don’t fool me.)

Of course, if you’re inhospitable and abusive to foreigners and immigrants or gripe about government programs that help the poor, you’re also a sodomite in the Biblical and Talmudic sense.

5 thoughts on “I’m a Sodomite, and I’m OK”

  1. Cracking gaming metaphor.

    On the subject of mistaken sex terms, I read an interesting theory on the Norse concept of “unmanliness” a few years ago. The common interpretation is that it was homosexuality (or perhaps being the penetrated half of homosexuality). However, this paper focused on the verbs associated with descriptions of it (accepting, being used, and so forth) and concluded that they share the quality of submitting or tolerating, so unmanly sex seems to have been sex without mutual enthusiastic consent and enjoyment.

    The specific instances of unmanliness are man-and-man, but that isn’t actually surprising given the sagas are tales of men sailing away for seasons at a time in a small boat, so most of the opportunities for shared funsies are homosexual.

    So, potentially all those white-race extremists fetishising Norse culture would hate it if we actually went to an Aesir-worshipping state because it would make being a caring sexual partner the height of virtue and the expectation of sex simply for having a penis a moral failure.

    1. Hi, Dave. Glad you’re enjoying this revived blog and that you found the gaming metaphor amusing. I think I was channeling Claire Ashecroft when I came up with that. Hell, the whole post is probably something Claire would write.

      Speaking of which, I wonder if the commenter from sinblr.com using that name is a fan.

      As for theory of “unmanliness” in the Norse sagas you mentioned; I might have read the same thing; it might even have been something you shared on Google+. I honestly think it would be hilarious that if the alt-reich got their way and we replaced the USA with the People’s Technocratic Republic of Vinnland being rapey, selfish, and entitled would still not be rewarded and that incels would still be incels.

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